A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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Late Show With David Letterman’s farewell tour. The good news is this is the first farewell tour that’s actually fun to watch. The bad news is it just underlines how much Letterman will be missed.

Pizza Hut’s 2-foot-long Flavor Dipper Pizza. Length and dip-ability, not taste, are always the most important considerations when deciding what to eat.

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ABC’s prime-time infomercial, Beyond The Tank. You know those “update” segments on Shark Tank? Now they’re stretched to fill a tedious hour!

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The unfortunate Birkenstock revival. A pair of fashionable Birkenstocks is a wearable oxymoron.

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The Billboard Music Awards. Thank God there is an award show to let the public know what songs/albums/musicians are the most popular. There really should be a chart or something…

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Keeping Up With The Kardashians: About Bruce. Only a family of pathological narcissists would make sure they get top billing in a show that is literally supposed to be “about Bruce.”

Celebrity prom proposals. No one but you and your town’s limo service care about your prom. And every time a celebrity actually responds to one of these prom invitations, a thousand teenagers sprout humility-resistant egos.

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