A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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HBO’s riveting documentary series, The Jinx. It’s the creepiest documentary about murder since The Staircase.

The Funny Or Die Weather app. Finally, an app that combines the wit of a joke-a-day calendar with the weather-related jolliness of Al Roker.

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Red velvet Oreos. Aren’t Oreo-flavored Oreos enough?

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Saturday Night Live’s live-ish 40th Anniversary Special. It’s as tedious and self-congratulatory as the Oscars, but with clips of The Coneheads and Derek Jeter for some reason!

The continued existence of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. The only thing “controversial” about this year’s issue is how a media outlet can keep publishing a soft-core porn magazine in the age of free Internet porn.

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Fifty Shades Of Grey. This ain’t your momma’s S&M movie—wait, actually, it is your momma’s S&M movie. It also might be a particularly racy lost episode of Silk Stalkings.

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McDonald’s awful “pay with lovin’” campaign. Nothing is more cynical than a corporation literally using hugs to sell more hamburgers. For a limited time.