Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The internet takes a snow day

Illustration for article titled The internet takes a snow day
Photo: Dmitry Feoktistov (Getty Images)

The arrival of unprecedented international snowstorms is probably the last thing the world needs to be dealing with right now. And yet, those lucky enough to have remained safe amidst another helping of global chaos have seen the weather as a great opportunity to get up to a wide variety of ridiculous shit.

Some people, for instance, have decided to make the most of the storm by filming action-packed tubing videos. And over on Reddit, we can see someone dutifully trudging around a field to create an enormous web, presided over by a big snow spider. Elsewhere, brain fogged with a different kind of Dutch courage, a man decided to head out to a frozen Amsterdam canal in little swim shorts and skate around. While bemused onlookers watched his performance, the guy plunged through the ice and was stuck treading water until a good Samaritan offered him a rope to climb to safety. His display complete, he bows to the crowd.

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Back in America, a dutiful husband decided to head to a store to buy some food while plows hurried to keep up with the snow. He made the news for his effort, telling a reporter: “My wife wanted some corn dogs for dinner so [I] dug the car out of the snow to grab some corn dogs for her.” His no-doubt appreciative partner recorded the segment when it aired, wheezing with laughter. The corn dog hero’s action may seem kind of dumb, but they can’t hold a candle to another video posted on Reddit—currently filled with this kind of stuff—of a guy saying “Look at this fucking snow” and then kicking at a bunch of it until his shoe flies off to skate away into the distance.

No snow days will ever compare to when you were a kid and were able to spend hours nearly murdering yourself and friends by playing around in structurally unsound snow forts. But, as an adult, it’s some kind of consolation that the internet does its best to compensate, providing us all with many other displays of weather-inspired madness that, really, some grown-up should put a stop to before it gets out of hand.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.